90+ Funny Onion Puns and Jokes: Peeling with Laughter

Funny onion puns and jokes bring a tear to the eye in the best way possible. These wordplays slice through the layers of language, offering a humorous twist on the humble, yet essential, kitchen staple.

Funny Onion Puns

1. Onions are great at karate, they always bring a chop to the fight.
2. I told my onion it was going to be diced, and it started to cry.
3. Why don’t onions cheat at games? Because they can’t stand being called liars.
4. The only vegetable that can make you cry and laugh at the same time: the pun-ion!
5. An onion just won an award and said, “I’d like to thank my layers.”
6. Onions make terrible secret keepers; they always peel away the truth.
7. I tried to write a book about onions, but it was too tearable.
8. Why did the onion go to the party? To add a layer of fun!
9. Onions are the only food that can season themselves with tears.
10. I broke up with my onion girlfriend. She said I never peeled back my layers.
11. A magician was turned into an onion. Now, when he performs, he brings tears to their eyes.
12. What do you call an onion who’s good at sports? A b-athlete.
13. Why did the onion join the band? Because it had great chops.
14. The onion failed its exam because it couldn’t get to the core of the subject.
15. My friend told me an onion pun. It was so bad, I cried.
16. Why was the onion so good at math? Because it knew its layers.
17. An onion decided to retire. It said it was time to hang up its layers.
18. Why do onions make terrible criminals? They always leave evidence in layers.
19. Onions are the only vegetable that can make you cry and then console you.
20. Did you hear about the onion that became a chef? It always spiced up the kitchen.
21. What do you call a frozen onion? A chill-ion.
22. Why did the onion write a memoir? Because it had so many layers to its life.
23. Onions are like a good book – always full of layers.
24. Why do onions make good detectives? Because they get to the root of every problem.
25. What’s an onion’s favorite game show? “Layer or No Layer.”
26. When the onion heard a joke, it said, “That’s a-peeling!”
27. Why did the onion stop meditating? Because it couldn’t find its inner peace.
28. I gave my onion a mirror, and now it thinks it’s the most a-peeling vegetable.
29. Onions can’t win races; they always turn back at the last layer.
30. Why was the onion so popular? Because it was the king of the ring.

Funny Onion Jokes

1. Why did the onion take a nap? Because it was peeling tired.
2. What do you call an onion that plays the trumpet? A tear-jerker.
3. How do you fix a broken onion? With a vegetable patch.
4. Why did the onion write a letter? To say it was sorry for making you cry.
5. What did one onion say to the other? “Stop peeling around!”
6. Why don’t onions work in IT? They keep breaking down in layers.
7. What’s an onion’s favorite dance move? The Salsa!
8. How does an onion plead in court? “I swear to tell the whole peel and nothing but the peel.”
9. Why was the onion so bad at archery? It could never hit the bullseye, but it always made the target cry.
10. What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey? A piece of ass that’ll bring a tear to your eye.
11. Why did the onion go to the doctor? It felt a-peeling.
12. What did the onion say to the chef? “You’ll rue the day you dice me!”
13. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the onion’s layers.
14. How does an onion get to work? By taking the root route.
15. What did the onion say after losing a race? “I’ll ketchup eventually.”
16. Why was the onion so good at yoga? Because it was very flexible in its layers.
17. What’s an onion’s favorite TV show? “Chopped.”
18. Why did the onion stop in the middle of the road? To cry about its peelings.
19. What do you call an onion who’s a priest? A holy onion, because it makes you see the light and cry.
20. Why did the onion start a blog? Because it wanted to share its layers with the world.

Funny Onion Puns for Instagram

1. Peeling fantastic today! 🧅💫
2. Just a veggie trying to make it in this tearable world. 😢🌍
3. Layering up for the cold weather like… 🧅❄️
4. Keep calm and curry onion. 🍛🧅
5. Feeling grate, might delete later. 🧅🔪
6. Onions have layers, and so do I. 🧅💭
7. Peeling back the layers of my weekend plans. 🧅🎉
8. Just a girl standing in front of a salad, asking it to be an onion ring. 🧅💍
9. Life is all about finding that someone who’s a-peeling. 🧅❤️
10. Staying as cool as an unpeeled onion. 🧅😎
11. On a quest to find the most tear-jerking onion. 😢🧅
12. Layer by layer, day by day. 🧅🗓️
13. Chop it like it’s hot. 🔥🧅
14. Onion rings: because vegetables are better in circles. 🧅💍
15. The only tears I want are from laughing… and onions. 😂🧅

Funny Onion Puns Captions

1. “Onions make me emotional, too. It’s not just you.”
2. “Dicing with danger: today’s special is onions.”
3. “Crying over chopped onions is the only drama I need.”
4. “Life is like an onion: full of layers and sometimes it makes you cry.”
5. “Peelings, nothing more than peelings.”
6. “Let’s root for each other and watch each other grow.”
7. “Onion rings are just vegetable donuts.”
8. “This onion won’t make you cry, promise!”
9. “In a relationship with my onion cutter.”
10. “Keep calm and add more onions.”
11. “Feeling grate! Spending my day with onions.”
12. “No tears, just tiers of joy.”
13. “I’m in a very layered relationship.”
14. “Sliced, diced, and still nice.”
15. “An onion a day keeps everyone away.”

Funny Onion Puns One-Liners

1. “I’m not crying, it’s just my onion personality.”
2. “Onion puns make me feel so emulsion-al.”
3. “Cutting onions is a chopping spree.”
4. “I’m on a roll – onion roll.”
5. “An onion’s life is just a bunch of layers.”
6. “Never trust an onion; they tend to be very dicey.”
7. “Onions are the only food that fights back.”
8. “I’m not crying, I’m just thinking about onions.”
9. “Life’s too short to cry over onions.”
10. “Onions: because sometimes you need to cry for no reason.”
11. “Peel away your worries, one layer at a time.”
12. “Every onion has its appeal.”
13. “An onion day keeps the friends away.”
14. “I have layers of respect for onions.”
15. “Love at first bite, until the onion kicks in.”

Conclusion

Whether they’re making us cry or laugh, onions have a special place in our hearts and kitchens. These puns and jokes peel back the humor in every layer of our tear-jerking friend, the onion.