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90+ Funny Murder Puns and Jokes




Funny Murder Puns

Murder-themed puns and jokes artfully blend dark humor with wordplay. They often use homophonic or homographic puns, playing on crime scene jargon, investigation terms, and the lighter side of mystery narratives, making them amusing for fans of crime and detective stories.

Funny Murder Puns

Funny Murder Puns
Funny Murder Puns
Funny Murder Puns
  1. Why did the detective bring a pencil to the murder scene? To draw his own conclusions.
  2. A detective’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal, because it always leads to rock-solid evidence.
  3. The clumsy detective always messed up the crime scene; he had a habit of evidence-tampering.
  4. Why was the tomato suspected of murder? It had a killer sauce.
  5. The crime scene was icy, but the detective’s wit was even colder.
  6. The detective’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline-up.
  7. Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them at a crime scene.
  8. A chef was suspected of murder, but he had a solid alibi: he was in the kitchen, whisking away.
  9. Why was the detective so calm at the murder scene? He had nerves of steel evidence.
  10. The detective’s report was concise; it was a brief case.
  11. The murderer was a tailor; his crimes were always a cut above the rest.
  12. Why did the detective stay in bed? He was undercover.
  13. The detective loved solving crimes at the bakery; it was a piece of cake.
  14. The detective didn’t solve the crime, but he did draw a lot of con-clues-ions.
  15. The murderer was a musician who got caught because he couldn’t resist a clef-hanger.
  16. Why was the gardener suspected of murder? His hands were dirty.
  17. The detective always solved the cases at night because he was good in the dark.
  18. A suspect was arrested in a vineyard; he had a grape alibi, but it wasn’t solid.
  19. The detective quit because he felt his career was a dead end.
  20. The murderer was a fisherman; he got caught because of his fishy story.
  21. The detective said he needed space, so he went to the crime scene.
  22. A murderer at a clock store had too much time on his hands.
  23. The detective’s favorite part of a meal? The stake-out.
  24. Why was the math book suspected of murder? It had too many problems.
  25. The detective always drank coffee at a crime scene; it helped him espresso his thoughts.
  26. A comedian was a suspect because his alibi was a joke.
  27. The detective always took the stairs; he said it was a step in the right direction.
  28. The butcher was suspected of murder; he had a choppy alibi.
  29. The detective always wore stripes; he said it helped him line up the evidence.
  30. A book was suspected of murder; it had a strong motive.

Funny Murder Jokes

Funny Murder Puns
  1. What’s a murderer’s favorite game? Hide and seek.
  2. Why was the detective sleepy at the crime scene? He was on a stakeout and it was past his bedtime.
  3. How do you know a vampire committed the crime? The clues were all a pain in the neck.
  4. Why did the detective go to the art gallery? To look for fine prints.
  5. What did the murderer say in the kitchen? “Knife to meet you.”
  6. How did the detective know the baker was guilty? He found a trail of breadcrumbs.
  7. Why don’t murderers make good comedians? Their jokes always kill the mood.
  8. What’s a ghost’s favorite murder weapon? A boo-llet.
  9. Why did the detective bring soap to the crime scene? To clean up the dirty evidence.
  10. How do you solve a blue murder? Look for the cyan clues.
  11. What’s a detective’s least favorite part of a book? The plot thickens.
  12. Why did the murderer fail at hide and seek? He always left dead giveaways.
  13. How does a murderer keep time? With a kill-o-clock.
  14. Why was the detective confused at the crime scene? The evidence just didn’t add up.
  15. What do you call a sleeping detective? An under-cover agent.
  16. Why did the murderer go to school? To get away with high crimes.
  17. What’s a detective’s favorite type of shoe? Sneak-ers.
  18. Why was the detective at the beach? He was following a sandy lead.
  19. How did the detective solve the murder at the campground? He pitched his ideas.
  20. Why did the detective bring a ladder to the crime scene? He wanted to get to the top of the case.

Funny Murder Puns for Instagram

  1. “Caught in a web of lies, and I’m not even a spider. πŸ•ΈοΈ #DetectiveLife”
  2. “Solving this case one sip at a time. #CoffeeAndCrimes”
  3. “This mystery is baking my brain. #CrimeSceneCuisine”
  4. “I’m on a roll with these clues, butter believe it. 🍞 #BakeryDetective”
  5. “Putting the ‘die’ in ‘detective’ with these murder puns. πŸ””
  6. “Chasing shadows and suspects. #NoirVibes”
  7. “My alibi? Just chilling with my cat. 🐾 #PurrfectCrime”
  8. “Evidence, espresso, and exhaustion. The three E’s of detective work. β˜•”
  9. “In a world full of suspects, be an alibi. #MysteryMantra”
  10. “Solving crimes before my coffee? That’s a real mystery. #CaffeinatedClues”
  11. “Just another day, another crime scene. #DetectiveDuty”
  12. “Piecing together this puzzle, one clue at a tart. πŸ₯§ #SweetMysteries”
  13. “My humor might be dark, but my detective skills are bright. πŸ’‘ #CrimeJokes”
  14. “The only thing I’m killing is time on this case. ⏳ #MysterySolver”
  15. “In the middle of a stakeout, wish it was a steak out. πŸ₯© #HungryDetective”

Funny Murder Puns Captions

  1. “Putting the ‘fun’ in ‘funeral’ with these murder puns. πŸ˜†”
  2. “Finding the humor in homicide. πŸ•΅οΈβ€β™‚οΈ”
  3. “This case is a real killer. #Whodunnit”
  4. “Got a degree in criminology just for the killer jokes. πŸŽ“”
  5. “Solving murders before breakfast. #EarlyBirdDetective”
  6. “A case so cold, even my jokes are freezing. ❄️ #ColdCase”
  7. “I’m not just a detective; I’m a pun investigator. πŸ””
  8. “Cracking cases and jokes at the same time. #Multitasking”
  9. “Who says crime doesn’t pay? I’m laughing all the way to the crime scene. πŸ˜‚”
  10. “Murder mystery: half serious investigation, half pun competition. #DualThreat”
  11. “This mystery’s unraveling faster than my sanity. 🧡”
  12. “Detective by day, pun master by night. πŸŒ™”
  13. “Leaving no stone unturned and no pun unused. #Thorough”
  14. “My puns are like fingerprints at a crime scene: always present. πŸ–οΈ”
  15. “Just a detective making a killing in the humor department. πŸ’€”

Funny Murder Puns One-Liners

  1. “I have a few leads on the murder, but they’re kind of sketchy.”
  2. “I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.”
  3. “Murder investigations are always groundbreaking; they dig up a lot.”
  4. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
  5. “Trying to solve this murder is like trying to nail Jell-O to a wall.”
  6. “I told a joke about the electric chair, but it was shocking.”
  7. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
  8. “This crime scene is a mess. Criminals these days have no respect for tidiness.”
  9. “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”
  10. “I’m trying to write a book on teleportation, but it’s going nowhere.”
  11. “This murderer must love nature; he’s always leaving trails.”
  12. “I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.”
  13. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
  14. “I’d tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.”
  15. “I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.”


Murder-themed puns and jokes offer a unique blend of dark humor and wordplay. They provide a lighthearted take on crime and detective themes, perfect for fans of mystery and humor alike. These puns and jokes can add an amusing twist to social media posts, conversations, and lighten the mood in a clever and witty way.

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