90+ Funny Heart Puns and Jokes:Laugh Your Heart Out

Heart puns and jokes are a playful way to express humor about love, emotions, and anything related to the heart. These puns often play on the dual meaning of heart-related terms, blending romantic and anatomical references for a light-hearted, amusing effect. They’re perfect for Valentine’s Day, romantic occasions, or just to bring a smile to someone’s face.

Funny Heart Puns

1. You’ve stolen a pizza my heart.
2. Are you a cardiologist? Because you just made my heart skip a beat.
3. I’m no electrician, but I can definitely light up your heart.
4. You must be an artist because you drew me closer to your heart.
5. I aorta tell you how much I love you.
6. My love for you is so strong, it’s cardiac-arresting.
7. You must be a thief, you’ve captured my heart without missing a beat.
8. I’m feeling ventricle-arly attracted to you.
9. You’re just my type – O, A, B, or AB, you’re always compatible with my heart.
10. If love is a crime, I’m guilty as charged with a heart theft.
11. Are you a heart surgeon? Because you just opened my heart.
12. Our love is like a heartbeat – strong and constant.
13. I’d never play hide and seek with you because someone like you is impossible to find and easy to lose.
14. Your love is like a defibrillator – it brought my heart back to life.
15. You must be an arrhythmia because you’re making my heart skip.
16. If we were on a cardiogram, we’d be a perfect match.
17. Your love is heartwarming, literally.
18. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.
19. My love for you is ventricular and unconditional.
20. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a heartichoke.
21. Our love could survive a heartquake.
22. Are you a heart? Because I am feeling the beat.
23. You’ve got the key to my heart, but please don’t drive too fast.
24. Love is like a good cardiologist – it fixes the heart.
25. If love was a heart monitor, ours would be off the charts.
26. You’re not just in my heart; you’re the heart of my heart.
27. I must be a heart, because I’m beating for you.
28. Our love is like heart surgery – complex but successful.
29. You’re the rhythm that keeps my heart beating.
30. Are you an EKG? Because you make my heart flutter.

Funny Heart Jokes

1. Why did the heart join Tinder? It was looking for the perfect match.
2. What do you call a heart that loves to travel? A wandering atrium.
3. Why did the heart go to school? To get a little heart-smart.
4. What did the cardiologist say to his friend? “You gotta have heart!”
5. Why was the heart feeling so confident? It had a lot of courage.
6. What do you call a heart that sings? A beat-box.
7. Why was the heart always so calm? It had a lot of patience.
8. What’s a heart’s favorite band? The Beat-les.
9. Why couldn’t the heart play cards? It was always dealing with feelings.
10. What do you call a heart working undercover? A cardiac spy.
11. Why was the heart a great comedian? It always had a strong pulse on the audience.
12. What did one heart say to another on Valentine’s Day? “Be mine, valen-time!”
13. Why did the heart go to jail? It was arrested for stealing beats.
14. What kind of music does a heart love? Anything with a good beat.
15. Why did the heart write a book? To tell its side of the story.
16. What do you call a heart that’s good at sports? An athletic heart.
17. Why was the heart always so brave? It had ventricle fortitude.
18. What’s a heart’s favorite type of story? A love tale.
19. Why did the heart get promoted? It was outstanding in its field.
20. Why was the heart so good at math? It always knew how to count beats.

Cardiovascular Valentine Puns

1. You stole my atrium! My heart skipped a beat when you walked in.
2. You’re my aortic squeeze! I can’t wait to hold you close.
3. You’re the fibrillation to my flutter! You make my heart race in the best way possible.
4. I vena cava believe it! You’re perfect for me.
5. Don’t worry, be happy: My aorta be with you! Sending love and well wishes.
6. You’re the valve to my heart! You control my every emotion.
7. Let’s get this love flowing! Our connection is so easy.
8. You’re my cardiac cutie! You stole my heart the moment I saw you.
9. I’m feeling a bit tachycardic around you! You give me butterflies.
10. Forget the defibrillator, your smile jumpstarts my heart! You’re electrifying.
11. You’re the cardio to my exercise! You make my life healthier and happier.
12. Don’t be a clot, let’s get together! Don’t miss out on a chance with me.
13. You’re the HDL to my LDL! You balance me out perfectly.
14. My love for you is as strong as the left ventricle! It’s powerful and unwavering.
15. You’re the pacemaker to my rhythm! You set my heart racing and keep me grounded.

Funny Heart Puns for Instagram

1. “Feeling ventricle-arly loved today! 💕”
2. “Caught in a bad romance? Just heart it out! 💔”
3. “Just aorta tell you, you’re amazing! ❤️”
4. “Heart you to the moon and back! 🌙❤️”
5. “Love is all about finding the right beat. 💓”
6. “In a serious relation-chip with my heart. 💘”
7. “My heart’s not broken, it’s just in recovery mode. 💔⚕️”
8. “Love’s in the air, and I’m catching heartbeats. 💨❤️”
9. “Beating the Monday blues with a heart full of joy! 💙❤️”
10. “Just a heart looking for its soul-mate. 🌟💕”
11. “Feeling heartful and grateful today. 🙏❤️”
12. “My heart’s on ‘Do Not Disturb’ mode. 🚫💓”
13. “In the rhythm of the heartbeat, find your dance. 💃❤️”
14. “Hearts have their reasons which reason knows not of. 💭❤️”
15. “Keep calm and love your heart. ❤️🧘”

Funny Heart Puns Captions

1. “Beating with joy since you’re in my life. ❤️”
2. “I found my heart-ner in crime. 💑”
3. “In a heartship with coffee and good vibes. ☕❤️”
4. “Just me, my heart, and I. 💖”
5. “Heart you more than pizza, and that’s saying something. 🍕❤️”
6. “Breaking hearts and taking names. 💔😎”
7. “My heart’s GPS is set to ‘happy’. 📍❤️”
8. “Life is short, but your heart is forever. ❤️”
9. “This heart ain’t for rent! 💖🚫”
10. “Heart on my sleeve and coffee in my hand. ☕💓”
11. “Heart mode: ‘Chill and thrive’. ❄️❤️”
12. “Living life one heartbeat at a time. 💓”
13. “In a committed relationship with my heartbeat. 💕”
14. “Heart so full, it might just burst. 🎈❤️”
15. “My heart’s a library, full of love stories. 📚❤️”

Funny Heart Puns One-Liners

1. “I’m no cardiologist, but I know a heart when I see one.”
2. “Are you an artery? Because you’re really close to my heart.”
3. “I’ve got a ‘heart’ time keeping my love for you under wraps.”
4. “Our love is so strong, it could survive a heart-quake.”
5. “You must be a heart, because you’re central to everything I do.”
6. “I’m a heart mechanic; I fix broken hearts.”
7. “Heart you a lot, but liver you more!”
8. “I’m not a doctor, but I can mend your heart.”
9. “Our love story is a best-seller in the heart department.”
10. “Heart’s not just an organ, it’s an emotion.”
11. “We’ve got chemistry and biology – my heart can tell.”
12. “My heart’s on fire, and you’re the spark.”
13. “I’m on a heart-healthy diet: full of love and laughter.”
14. “My heart’s like a fine wine, it gets better with time.”
15. “I’ve got a PhD in love – Pretty Huge Heart.”

Conclusion

Heart puns and jokes offer a delightful and amusing way to play with language, combining elements of romance, emotion, and the physical heart. They are perfect for a variety of occasions, from expressing love to simply sharing a laugh, and are a great way to add a bit of humor to your day.